Hello old friend, it has been two years. While I could consider this as a new beginning, I regard this more as a return and acceptance of the truth.
After years of growth, disappointment and heartbreaks, I have come to terms that I am not okay.
I fall into deep pits of self pity and sorrow at the most unexpected times and to make it worse, the depth of illusions have gone much deeper while the occurrences have become too frequent. I have always felt embarrassed of it and with that, I shy away from seeking the help that I need from the people I trust the most. Part of it I fear of seeming weak, while the other part of it is just fear of losing my confidant. Most importantly, why would people care?
But eventually, to save my academic performance I had no choice but to meet our well-being advisor, Ms Marsh. It was an half an hour talk each time, much more casual than seeking for a professional help I presume. It was astonishing how she could capture what was wrong with me from the first five words I said; I suppress my stacked up emotions thinking that everything is okay only to reach a breaking point when I fail to contain my truths.
